CHAPTER 12

And then one day the worst possible thing happened at the farm. A rider in a blue uniform appeared at the front gate. Nell was doing some chores in the yard as he rode up. She walked slowly toward the gate as he dismounted. He said,” Good morning, Ma’am, could I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Sanders, the parents of Cpl. James W. Sanders?”

She said, “I’m sorry, but my father is no longer living, and my mother is ill and can’t come out.”

“And who are you, may I ask?”

“I’m Nell Sanders, sister of James Sanders.”

“Then I have the sad duty of leaving this notice from the Adjutant General with you. Tell me, are you alone?”

“No, I’m not alone. I have a sister and a cousin inside, and a brother-in-law up in the barn.”

“Fine, then I bid you good-day.”

With a sinking feeling inside, suspecting what the letter might say, she went around to the back door and called Harriett to come out, saying, “Harriet, I’m afraid to open this. It was delivered by a uniformed person from the Union Army.”

“Then let’s walk up and see if we can find Caleb.”

They had no trouble locating him. Nell handed him the envelope with shaking hands. “This was just delivered and we want you to open it. We’re afraid it’s bad news.” She told him how it was received. Caleb slowly tore it open and read the message.

“Oh, my … it’s very bad news. It’s from the Adjutant General reporting that James is dead!”

Nell and Harriett both started to cry. Harriett said, “Dear God in heaven, what else is gonna happen to our family? This will be the death of Ma. You know that. And what about Sarah? Oh, this is tragic. I can’t believe it!”

Caleb said, “Wait, don’t go back in the house just yet. You two need to think this over. Do you have to tell them now? In the first place, it probably wouldn’t sink in to Emma. On the other hand, it might send her over the edge. I think you ought to talk it over with Dr. Brown before tellin’ either of them, especially in Sarah’s present condition. So far, it’s only the three of us who know.”

Nell said, “You’re right, Caleb. Let’s don’t tell Sam about it either until later. We must think of Sarah and Ma and their health. That’s the most important thing. And we’ll have to decide later what to do about tellin’ the Russells.”

And so it was with heavy hearts that the three of them went about their duties. Nell and Harriett each went off by themselves and had a good cry first. This was awful! How would they get through the days ahead?

Late in the afternoon of the following day, Dr. Brown, who had been calling on an elderly woman a mile from the Sanders farm, dropped by to look in on Sarah and Emma. After he came downstairs, Nell asked him if he would step into the kitchen for just a minute, saying she had something to tell him. She took the Adjutant General’s notice from its hiding place and handed it to the doctor. He sat shaking his head back and forth as he read. Then with sad eyes he looked up at Nell, saying, “Do they know?”

“No, only Harriett, Caleb, and I know. We’re just in shock about it and don’t know what to do. Caleb thought we should get your advice. We’re almost afraid of what it will do to Ma. If she understood the meanin’, mightn’t it push her over the edge? And I hate to think what it might do to Sarah.”

“Well, Nell, I think you’re right about your mother. I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell her. I doubt if it would sink in. And I agree with Sarah. To tell you the truth, I’m not at all pleased at the way she’s doin’. She’s just not makin’ the progress that a young woman her age should be makin’. So can you just hold off for a few more days and then we’ll talk about it again?”

“It’s fine with me, because I sure didn’t look forward to tellin’ either of them. I’m also concerned what to do about Sam and the Russells.”

“I have a feelin,’ Nell, that Uriah and Lucinda would agree with us that it would be a mistake to Sarah right now. As a matter of fact, I’m due to call on one of their neighbors who is a patient. I could stop by their place and talk it over with them if you’d like me to. I’m not tryin’ to take over your family affairs, but if it’d be helpful to do, I’d be glad to do it.”

“Oh, my, that would be a big load off my mind, if you would. You’d know how to handle it, Dr. Brown. This leaves only Sam and Effie.”

“The problem with Sam is that he might accidentally let it slip out without meaning to, as young people sometimes do. You might want to consider that. And if, after he learned about it and is angry that you didn’t tell him, you can always say that you dreaded breakin’ the news to him, knowin’ how much he thought of James. Just as you kept it from Sarah and Emma for health reasons.

“And as far as Effie, that’s up to you. I see no reason why you would have to tell her right away. It’s goin’ to hit her pretty hard, too, bein’ so close to Sarah and Elisha. Think about it for another day or two.”

“Well,” Nell said, “thank you very much, Dr. Brown. I won’t keep you any longer. I do appreciate your help and I’ll assume that you’ve taken care of the Russells for us.”

“I’m happy to be of help. But, keep in mind it is always possible, in spite of our efforts, that it’ll get out somehow, but that can’t be helped. In the meantime, I’ll be back in a couple of days.”

- * - * - * - * -

George Stanton and his new horse, Sunny, were getting along just fine. So far the journey had been pleasant and uneventful on their way home. They hadn’t run into any problems. The weather had been cooperative. He was able to find plenty of water along the way and good places to camp at night. George was hopeful of reaching his destination around noon of the next day if he hit the trail early enough.

- * - * - * - * -

Sarah’s illness continued to be a puzzle for the family, friends, and especially Dr. Brown. She was listless, had no appetite, and slept a good part of the day as well as most of the night. The doctor was beginning to suspect it was something other than pneumonia, something beyond his ability and knowledge.

The situation was also beginning to become a problem between Effie and her parents because they couldn’t understand why she continued to live at the Sanders farm. They felt she should be living at home with them.

Not knowing what to do about her anymore, the doctor had a talk with Sarah. He said he felt the time had come for her to start exercising more to strengthen her arms and legs, saying that it was harming her body to lie in bed so much. He instructed Effie, in Sarah’s presence, that from now on after breakfast each morning, she should have Sarah get dressed and go downstairs for an hour or two and then again in the afternoon. Then after a couple of days of this, after coming downstairs, she should try walking outside for a short time in the warm sunshine.

Effie started on the program the next morning. But since Sarah protested so much the first day, she decided to just walk her out in the hall and around in the bedroom for a while. Then after lunch, before insisting that she sit up in a chair for a half hour or more, Effie again walked Sarah around in the hall and bedroom.

“Now remember, tomorrow we go downstairs for dinner.”

Sarah groaned, “No, I just can’t.”

The next morning Sarah slept later than usual, and she was groggy as though she had been overdosed. Effie couldn’t understand it. “She was supposed to be better,” she thought. When Effie went downstairs to bring Sarah’s breakfast to her, she told Nell of the situation. “I just don’t know what to think. I don’t believe there is any way I could get her downstairs this mornin’ without carryin’ her. When you get a minute, would you come up and see what you think?”

When Nell came up a short time later, she was surprised at what she saw. Sarah looked pale and exhausted. It didn’t make sense. The doctor was right to be concerned. Nell thought to herself, “If I didn’t know that such things are not possible, I’d think she somehow knew that James was dead and she no longer wanted to live. Otherwise, how to explain it unless it is some mysterious illness?” She said to Effie, “If the doctor doesn’t drop by today, I think we should get in touch with him.”

- * - * - * - * -

In the meantime, the people in the community were also beginning to be concerned about Sarah. Everyone in the area had heard of her walk to Rolla to see James, and they worried about her safety. And now that she was back, they couldn’t understand what was wrong. They knew she had had a bout of pneumonia. But that was weeks ago, and normally she should be up and around, attending church as she used to, coming to the store for items she needed, and riding her horse. A few of her friends and ladies of the church had dropped by and were surprised to learn that she was still practically bedfast and unable to come downstairs.

Those who went up to visit her in her room came away realizing that she was far from well and were puzzled by what it could be.

A few days after his instructions to Effie about exercising, the doctor came back out and was disappointed by Sarah looking more emaciated. He was disturbed by Effie’s report of Sarah’s absolute refusal to attempt going down the stairs.

Sarah barely spoke at all any more, taking no interest in anything around her, even Elisha. Effie brought him downstairs a lot and started feeding him more soft solid foods. In spite of everything, though, he remained happy and healthy. Everyone in the family loved him, even Sam who liked to hold him and make faces at him. He couldn’t wait until Elisha got big enough to walk and talk. His little face would light up when Sam came near.

The only person who ignored him besides his mother was his grandmother, Emma. It was so strange. She acted as though he wasn’t even there. She never acknowledged his presence, still sitting in her own little world. But she wasn’t a great problem for Nell since she did manage to look after herself, with a couple of exceptions. She would forget to bathe and change clothes. So every few days, Nell or Effie would fix a warm tub of water, take her by the hand and say, “Time for a bath, Emma.” Then they would take away her soiled clothes and lay out clean ones.

- * - * - * - * -

For the past few days there had been much rejoicing on the Stanton farm. George’s wife, Bessie, had finally received the letter George had mailed from Rolla telling of his release as a prisoner. They didn’t know, however, what to expect next since they had heard nothing further. George mentioned in the letter that he hoped to be discharged and allowed to return home, but they thought that was too much to expect. The family was just relieved he was alive and well and back in camp.

- * - * - * - * -

On a Saturday afternoon about a week later, Bessie and her daughter Patsy were working in the vegetable garden, cleaning out debris to be ready for next spring’s planting. Patsy came running to her mother, saying, “I see a man ridin’ on a horse comin’ this way up the lane.” Bessie dropped what she was doing and ran to the front gate. She knew immediately that it was George. “It’s your Pappa, Patsy. He’s home.”

The word rapidly spread of George’s arrival home. People dropped by the farm to shake his hand and welcome him. At the church service the next morning, it seemed that everyone in the community was there. The minister invited George to come forward and to tell about his experience so he wouldn’t have to repeat it over and over to everyone. He was sorry he wasn’t able to give them information about James Sanders and Miles Patterson, however.

- * - * - * - * -

The next time Dr. Brown came by the Sanders farm, he appeared exhausted from his rounds and gladly accepted a cup of hot coffee and a chance to sit a spell. He commented on how well young Elisha was doing under the circumstances, saying “Thank God for that. You’ve done a good job, Effie.”

He talked to Nell and Effie for a long time. He said, “Emmaline and Sarah are the most puzzlin’ cases of my whole practice. I’ve stayed up late at night readin’ every medical book I can get my hands on, but I’ve found nothin’ that gives me any help. I’m at my wits end. Of the two, though, Sarah is my biggest concern. She just seems to have given up.”

Nell spoke up and said, “Doctor, I think it is time we fill Effie in on our awful secret, don’t you? After all, she is so much a part of this family now and I think she should know.”

“Yes, I agree,” he said.

Effie was looking back and forth at each of them, wondering what was going on. Making sure no one else was around, Nell closed the kitchen door and said, “Effie, only I, the doctor, Harriett, and Caleb know this so far, but the other day was got notice from the Adjutant General that James is dead.”

“What? Oh, dear Lord, this will be the end of Sarah,” said Effie as she started crying.

Nell continued, “After consultin’ with Dr. Brown, we decided that for the time bein’ we should keep quiet about it to both Sarah and Ma for the sake of their health. Only five of us know about it right now. The strangest thing to me is that she seems to have gotten worse since the message was received, as though somehow deep down she knows about it. But how could she? There’s no way.”

They all sat and looked at each other for a while. Finally the doctor said, “Well, I’ll have to admit that it has me completely stumped. All I know to do now is to turn it over to a higher power. I suggest we all start prayin’ a lot, and encourage your friends at church to do the same. I’ll suggest it to the Russells when out that way.”

In the next few days, Nell, Harriett, and Caleb spread the word around about Sarah’s worsening condition, asking their neighbors and friends to pray for her. Nell even stopped to see their pastor and told him that the family would appreciate the prayers of the members. The next day he personally came out and knelt and prayed by Sarah’s bedside.

A few days later, it became harder to rouse Sarah long enough to get her to eat something. Members of the Russell family visited regularly, gradually coming to the realization that she had given up all interest in living. It was heartbreaking.

On their visits, Uriah and Lucinda spent some time visiting with their grandson, little “Lish.” His smile of welcome was a great joy to them, and they always congratulated Effie on the good job she was doing with him.